tuesday, april 3, 2007

questions for you

How deep am I
in your soul?
Really deep?
Or simply shallow
too shallow to notice
except
when I stir guilt
If I disappeared
would you notice?
If it was over
would it really matter?
Why is it different?
Would you really
shed a tear
for me?
Or just for you
When you see me
are you glad?
Or just relieved
Is it really for me?
Or just you
I know
I don't fit
in your world
or any world
But I don't understand
how they did
and why
they were better
I try
I know it's not enough
I just wonder
if it ever was

when

how is it
that nothing i do
is ever enough
for you
and you
and you
and you
how is it
i feel i put
my self into it
and it isn't enough
always
there is something
something else
you think i should have done
i didn't know
you didn't say
until after i failed
again
how is it
that i
am not enough
for you

writing

This work
of putting
pen to paper
type on a page
filling space
with words
Is soul work
not for the weak
or timid
all the dark secrets
and intimate joys
can be smeared
across a page
Taken to heart
or disregarded
My truth
lies here